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by Joseph W. Henderson
May 21, 2006
Gen 2:15 - Then the LORD God took the man and put him into the Garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. NASB
Introduction Many of our families today are in crisis. This crisis is primarily due to the absence of strong Christian male leadership in the home. This phenomenon is also being played out every week in many of our churches too! Satan is clever at deceiving men from assuming their rightful roles as spiritual leaders in these two areas. Thank God for faithful women who have been holding both of these sacred institutions together for many years. Men, it’s time to step-up to the plate!
Sociologists tell us that about 41% of American children will go to bed tonight without a father to pray with them and tuck them in. In the late eighties and early nineties that figure for minority communities was about 63% and was projected to reach 70% by the year two thousand in the African-American community. We need strong Christian men in the home who’d be able to guide their families through a misguided world. Dr. Tony Evans has said: “Too many of our men are like the abominable snowman—footprints everywhere, but you never see him.”
God is looking for Spirit-filled men who will step up to the plate and assume their roles as spiritual leaders in their homes. Thus, my thesis for today is simple: the primary role of men in the family is headship. This statement raises a simple fundamental question. What are the biblical roles of men in their families? Four ideas from Scripture answer this question.
Preparing for Headship (Genesis 2:4-18)
First, men are responsible for “preparing” themselves for family headship. In Genesis 2, we note several implied principles related to Adam, the first man. He was Spirit-filled (Genesis 2:7), had his own place to live (Genesis 2:8), was employed (Genesis 2:15), served the Lord (Genesis 2:15), and was given Divine instruction (Genesis 2:16-17). Brothers, the biblical pattern for preparing for headship in a family is set forth for us to emulate.
Further, if you are a single man, follow this road map for preparing for biblical headship. If you haven’t accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord, then you must start here. Genesis declares that God breathed the breath of life into Adam ― I associate this verse with being born-again. Also, Genesis 2 says that Adam was to dress and keep the Garden. He served the Lord. My sisters in Christ, I believe brother man needs to be serving the Lord—actively involved in a local church, before you jump the broom (get married). Ladies, lip service only from him saying he knows the Lord might not be good enough. The apostle James said, show me your faith by your good works (James 2:26). Many women have married men who make claims of having confessed Christ as Savior, and do not serve the Lord in any capacity. These women find themselves discouraged and frustrated at their husbands who fail to lead the family spiritually.
Additionally, don’t misunderstand me here. I am not advocating a salvation by works. Scripture emphatically speaks against such a notion (Galatians 2:16). I am simply saying this: we are not working to get into heaven, but we are working because heaven has gotten into us. This idea is a result of being saved by grace through faith alone (Ephesians 2:8)! Simply put, good works should be a result of one’s natural spiritual transformation. Now, back to my brethren, Adam had a home and a job. Brothers, in preparing for family headship, the king should have a palace to place his queen. Every spiritual head needs his own place of residence, not his parents’ or in-laws’, unless special circumstances warrant (Genesis 2:24). A final thought on this point can be compared to the noble medical profession. Before doctors can practice medicine, they must undergo serious medical training and pass their qualification boards. This process takes many years, but the preparation pays off when it’s time to implement what they have learned. No one in his right mind would allow an unskilled or nonqualified doctor to perform brain surgery on him. He would like to know that his physician has adequately prepared himself for the task. Therefore, brothers, we must likewise prepare ourselves for family headship by following the principles laid out in Genesis 2.
Worship and Headship (Joshua 24:15) Second, family men are responsible for leading their families in worship. Joshua declared, “And if it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” Joshua 24:14 (NASB). Like Joshua, strong Christian men are to lead their families in the worship experience of the true and living God. This idea includes getting rid of anything that attempts to take the place of Jehovah, which the Bible calls an idol. Jacob removed such idols from his family and he led them in the worship the only true God (Genesis 35:1-4). Further, Job led his family in worship by interceding for them through prayer (Job 1:5). Thus, a major spiritual role of men in the family is to model and teach your children how to praise and worship God. Adam taught and modeled this truth before his children and they in turn practiced the worship of the one true God (Genesis 4:1-4, 25-26). Another great example of men leading in worship is demonstrated by King David, where he danced before the Ark of the Covenant when he brought it up from Obed-edom’s house (2 Samuel 6:12-15).
Personal Needs and Headship (1 Peter 3:7) Third, family men demonstrate their headship by ministering to the personal needs of their wives. The apostle Peter admonishes husbands to live with their wives in an understanding way. The phrase “In an understanding way” in the Greek carries the idea of a husband studying his wife to better understand his mate and her unique needs. Yes, brothers, we must go back to the school of tender loving care. Most men have an uncanny ability to tinker with and fix things, especially mechanical gadgets, automobiles, etc. We’ll spend hours trying to repair or assemble something without giving it a second thought. We must expend the same type of energy in learning how to best minister to the needs of our wives. Women have their own unique needs, which are given by God. Two of her primary internal needs are love and a sense of security in her family life. That is why Genesis 2 is so important brothers. That is why our role of proclaiming, providing, and protecting our families is so important. By proclaiming, I mean teaching the family the word of God. Additionally, we are called to minister to her like Christ; we must be willing to make sacrifices for her (Ephesians 5:25). When we minister to her needs on that level, she will flourish like a fruitful vine (Psalm 128:3). Healthy well cared for vines will do three things: they cling, climb, and cluster (produce fruit). We want our wives to produce much fruit and to experience all that God has for them.
Parental Responsibilities and Headship (Ephesians 6:4)
Finally, family men lead by assuming parental leadership duties in the home. Paul exalted fathers not to provoke their children and to raise them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Fathers are given the primary role of providing the moral compass that will guide their children in a misguided world. In essence, fathers are not to discourage their children, but to encourage them (both parents have this responsibility). There are several things that must be avoided to prevent discouragement: showing favoritism, imposing your unfulfilled dreams on your kids, and failing to prioritize them in your life. This short list serves as an example of a few things that can discourage children; there are others. Luke 2:52 provides fathers with four major areas that he should focus on while mentoring and raising the children. The text says that Jesus developed in four major areas: He grew in wisdom, stature, in favor with God and men. Therefore, fathers must ensure that their children receive the best educational development that they can afford to provide (wisdom). In addition, a father must play his important role in providing a healthy home environment that will promote the proper physical, emotional, and spiritual growth possible. Also, good home training should result in an outcome that leads to experiencing favor with God and men. Finally, a father’s loving discipline is an essential tool for good child rearing. Failure to provide loving discipline could have a negative effect in the full character development of a child. The Bible declares that disciplinary actions are a form of communicating one’s love (Hebrews 12:4-6). Loving discipline from God’s perspective is not punitive, but is designed for corrective behavior. When a father disciplines his children, it communicates that he loves them enough to correct their errant behavior. The prophet Eli failed to address and correct his sons’ sinful conduct, which led to their demise (1 Samuel 2:12-17; 22-25; 27-35; 4:4, 11). Therefore, don’t fail to lovingly discipline your children, for discipline is a form of communicating care and concern. |
